Otherwise known as DIC (that's DICK)

The sun's out. It's going to be a warm sunny day here. I woke up early because I have to finish this questionnaire I received from my disability insurance company. It's almost two years since the disability insurance company (now known forever as "DIC", please pronounce as DICK) began paying me.

Here's how it works: Once you're disabled, you contact your DIC and let them know. You fill out inches of paperwork and have your doctors do the same. The upside for me is that I have really great insurance. My employer has continued to pay for the premiums even though I haven't worked since December 2005. Unfortunately, this stops in March. That's why I have these forms to fill out.

I also applied for Social Security (now known forever as "SS", pronounced as SSSSSSSSS) when this all started but was denied because I was not disabled enough. I appealed and was denied again. At this point, DIC intervened and said that they had hired a company that specializes in dealing with SS claims (let's call them SSC, pronounced as SICK). For the next YEAR I filled out forms, answered questions, my doctors filled out forms - anything that changed in my medical life, I had to inform SSC and DIC, who would then inform SS. Finally, after 20 months, SS believed SSC and declared me disabled. Oh happy day!! To be acknowledged by the supreme, heartless, inefficient, taxing (now known forever as "SHIT" pronounced as shit) government machine!!

Anyway, right after Christmas I received a thick envelope from DIC that looked ominously familiar. Inside, DIC informed me that I had to prove to THEM I was disabled or my benefit checks would stop. Wait a minute - didn't DIC hire SSC to prove to the SS SHIT machine that I was disabled? Huh? What the hell!! If the SHIT machine said I was disabled, then I was disabled because it is practically impossible to collect SHIT benefits right away. So why do I need to get down on my knees and provide DIC with the same earnest applications that I applied to SHIT? Because of money. That's right, it comes down to the bottom line. Or rather, my bottom is on the line.

So here it is, folks. I'll be at my desk this fine morning, filling out paperwork because DIC wants my ass, even though SHIT has been all over it for almost two years. Doesn't matter that DIC hired SSC to bring SHIT into the picture and prove that I am diabled. DIC needs to find out for itself. I have the feeling that I'm going to get screwed.