Tuesday, November 03, 2009

Ladies who lunch and the jerks they encounter

Last Friday, after lunch with the Missy's, we decided to go to the local mall for some frozen yogurt (it's this year's bobalicious, you know, the drink with the tapioca balls that was everywhere a few years ago? Now it's frozen yogurt. Go to your local malls, you'll find them sprouting up)...uh, where was I? Right, the mall. So, we've pulled into the handicap space and the hatch marked spot is on the passenger side so I can open my door and wait for the wheelchair. This stupid man in a "I have a small penis so look at my big muscle car" which, by the way, was a f*ckin' HONDA, tries to cut through the parking lot by driving thru the handicap space. And can't because I'm standing there with my car door open. Clearly, it's an Asian stand-off. I can't move because, well, I can't. He won't move because he's an asshole. So what does he do? He gives me the stink-eye. I merely shrug but now the Missy's have noticed him and it's ON. Missy R. is looking at him with that glare while Missy P. is gearing up to shoot him one of her non-combative insults (you a-hole!!) when the douchebag driver drives right past me in a reverse C formation. So he can go the wrong way up the down aisle (one of my biggest parking lot annoyances is that some drivers insist on ignoring the arrows painted on the ground) - but the little butthole does something even more heinous - he shoots me the nastiest look! Imagine - he's in a car and I'M the one that has to move for him. Oh, and he continues to look backwards while he walks to the ATM. Missy R. said (and I'm paraphrasing), "Did that f*cking asshole just shoot us a dirty look?" I was all for rolling over and keying his car.

Today I saw a woman pull her huge red truck into a handicap parking space and sprint towards the mall. Because I always check for handicap placards (hey, you'd be surprised at how many people park in handicap spaces without a placard and it's become a weird obsession thingy for me. I think it's some kind of self-righteous issue and for now it amuses me), it was easy to see she didn't have a handicap placard or license. It's the same thing when someone parks in the "Fifteen Minutes" parking spot and is there for hours. It's marked for a reason, bozo. I asked the security guard at the mall what the policy was for cars parking in the handicap space without a placard and he said that they couldn't issue tickets, only call the police.

Really. Did you know the minimum fine for parking illegally in a handicap space starts at $350 and goes as high as $3500? If you can walk, why risk the fine? I don't get it. Sigh. Again I ask, when did we become a nation of "Me firsts?" More and more I notice the slow decline of consideration and courtesy. The biggest offenders? People my own age, the mid-30's to early 50's age group. Great example we're setting for the younger set, aren't we? Does anyone know what happened to our generation? My parents raised me to be considerate and respectful of others but it's hard to mind your manners when you come across, more and more, people with none. I'm not saying that there's a lack of considerate and kind people, I'm saying that it's easier to spot the rude people. That's why when someone holds a door open, or offers to reach an item on a shelf for me, I appreciate it. Nice gestures are lovely.

By the end of our yogurt treat, the small penis man and his muscle car had left the parking lot. The Missy's and I were able to laugh at the whole situation and our reactions. Still, my urge to key his car or roll over his toes remained strong...I'll get him next time!!


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