Tuesday, March 31, 2009

A Stinkin' Rose

Shhh. I'm hiding from myself. Today was another one of those days when I looked at myself in the mirror and said, "What the hell is wrong with you? Are you a grown woman with her own opinions or are you a big, waa waa baby?" Um, today, I was a BIG waa waa baby.

It started out as a normal outing with my folks. Shopping at S Mart ("..shop smart, shop S MART"* (can you guess the movie?)) for a few garden items. Dad and I perused the various succulents, the odoriferous herbs, the vibrant florals...and there I saw them...English Daises. Delicate, petite flowers with a burst of golden yellow in the middle surrounded by rich, velvety colours of deep maroon, baby pink; with stripes of ruby so red, it was almost black. In short, them was some purty flowers.

I told my Dad, "Hey, I like those. They'd look great in planters beside the patio furniture. Let me grab 3 or 4 of them." My Dad looked at me, looked at the plants, and said simply, "No." He attempted to push my wheelchair forward but I, in total shock at being denied my precious flowers, threw what could only be called a tantrum in the most astonishing style...As I shook my head rapidly from side to side, chanting , "...I want them, I want them...give me my pretty flowers!" (oh, I kid you not, this was definitely a moment that disproved I was an adult) my body, in rhythmic tandem, shook in some epileptic dance; my hands moving up and down, my legs flailing in crazy synchronicity. Ahhh...my poor Mom, who had a front row view of my tamtrum, was in a word, stunned. She slowly moved her head to face away from me, then pushed her cart as far from me as she could. I saw her shoulders shaking and thought I'd made her cry. It wasn't until I heard strange snorting noises from behind me did I realize my parents were laughing at me - hysterically.

Mom turned her cart back towards Dad and I, still laughing. "Guess you want those plants pretty badly, huh?" she asked me, trying to catch her breath. Dad said, "Do ya think they have security cameras out here and maybe we could get a copy of the tape?" I asked them both (quite innocently, I thought), "Why? Did I look funny?" Before they could answer, an older gentlemen in the aisle beside us said very quietly, "Yes." OH. NO. Mortification set in, then raucous laughter. I could not stop laughing at myself. I don't know if it was pent-up tension that needed releasing or frustration at being told "no" as if I were a child that well, made me act like one.

Dad loaded up six of the plants, taking care to pick only the healthiest to bring home to become part of my lovely garden. I don't advocate my behavior but there is something to be said of the effectiveness of a good, ol' fashioned hissy fit.

*10 points if you guessed this line from Army of Darkness. Go Bruce Campbell!!


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