Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Is he gay?

I was talking with one of my girlfriends yesterday and she told me she thought the guy she was dating might be gay. I asked her why and here is a brief list of her reasons: 1. He hasn't made a serious move on her though they've been on several dates. 2. His voice is "kinda" effeminate 3. He likes to cook 4. He has a close male friend and they hang out a lot.

Okay, I can see on the surface how these points listed together might make a girl a bit suspicious but these do not a gay boyfriend make. Take it from me, girlie. I use to call myself "the last reststop on the road to gayville" because I had THREE boyfriends come out of the closet while dating me - thus sending me straight to the waiting couch of my psychiatrist. I dated one right after the other so it was easy to see why I had very low self-esteem.

Anygay, I explained that perhaps he hadn't made a serious move on her because he was respectful. I know, hard to believe in our current casual sex environment. As for the voice, two words - Tom Selleck. Okay, two more, David Beckham. Excellent choices for smokin' bodies and choir boy pitched voices. It doesn't make sense but here it is, folks. Sometimes the pitch doesn't go with the pecs. Cooking? There are lots of guys that can cook - both in and out of the kitchen...ordering a pizza for dinner doesn't make a man manly, just lazy. I'll take a home cooked meal from my date any day. If he can cook a great dinner, it leaves me happily guessing what might be for breakfast, you know? So he has a close male friend - a bromance, if you please. Good for him for having enough confidence to have a really close male friend versus many casual friends. It means that he's capable of intimacy (not physical, silly), emotional intimacy, with a male friend. Which means that he has someone to turn to for advice, not just an old copy of Playboy or a quick play of "Knocked Up". It takes work to have a close friendship, if he can do it with a male friend, it makes it even sweeter for you, his girlfriend.

In our technical age it is easy to "hook up", it's not so easy to realize what we've hooked, particularly if it's a good thing. We spend so much time analyzing instead of enjoying the moment. I say - go for it, girlie! The worst he's gonna do is say, "get away from me, girl cooties!!" and the best he will say is, "ohhh, girl cooties. Come here." I hope he proves me right and shows my girlfriend he was worth the wait.


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