glutton, glutton, who's got the glutton?

I am a glutton and I don't deny it. I always seem to overdo when it's not necessary. It leads to all kinds of problems, you know. It's not that the gluttony bug is activated all the time, either. Usually I start to get that twitchy feeling when I'm super stressed, which I am right now. My normal response would be to grab the biggest bag of chips and not stop until I hit bottom - of the bag, that is. Sometimes, to stop the mental shakes, I would shop...okay, I prefer shopping. The results are just as instantaneous as eating with none of the bloated tummy in the morning. With shopping the only thing bloated is either my credit card or my overdraft protection. As I get older, and maybe a little smarter, eating doesn't work. Shopping works less but still manages to take the edge off.

I tried exercise. All I did was think about what was bugging me while I walked on the treadmill like a hamster going nowhere. Plus, I sweated, which I'm not fond of at all. Read self-help books, recognized the problem - I said right off that I am a glutton.

I think that in a very Twilight Zone kind of way I've been slapped by the glutton superbug. Think about it. I've had two years of excessive health issues. Let's do a recap: 10 surgeries the first week in the hospital, 25 dialysis treatments, 20 blood transfusions, 18 months of open wounds, 12 infections, 86 days in the hospital (the first time around), 9 different kinds of antibiotics, 5 pain medications...it's a warped Twelve Days of Christmas song!!

I hear the siren call of a chocolate cupcake, the seductive tease of my credit cards...luring me to go forth and be a glutton. Maybe it's time to squash this bug under the heal (get it?) of a new shoe.