Saturday, April 26, 2008

Adventures of Scooter Girl - Phoenix trip much to say, so much to say...don't know where to start. Okay, I took my first plane ride (woo hoo!!) since my accident in 2005. Wow, air travel is completely different when you're in a wheelchair. Much to my dismay I had to buy a first class ticket (I know, I know, you feel my pain) because I didn't know how it would all work for me. Missy R. was shocked at the price from our finest city to Phoenix. Yes, I know it was a complete ripoff but it had to be done.

Packing for the trip was a wrestling match for control. Mom insisted on ironing any clothing that would wrinkle or had the slightest chance of wrinkling while in my suitcase. That meant ironing mostly everything. Dad fretted that the airline would damage my wheelchair. As I've said before, I love my folks. Couldn't be where I'm at if it wasn't for their loving care and concern. (Oh, Mom won, of course. She repacked most of my suitcase after I had already packed it.)

Missy R. and I were flying out to visit Missy S. Missy P. was at some hoity toity spa along the coast with her mother-in-law (no good deed goes unpunished)and couldn't join us for our very special spa weekend in Phoenix.

I had my own personal pat down with airport security. Right there in front of everyone. They asked me if I wanted a private room and I said no. Next time I plan on answering, "HELL YES!!" Nothing like having plastic gloved hands gliding over your backside and bosom. However polite these ladies are, there ain't no way it's happening again with me as a public spectacle. I'm the only thing to watch while the other people were putting on their shoes and gathering their crap! On the positive side, that's the most action I've had in two years!! Come on, hospital staff doesn't count!

Boarding the plane proved uneventful. Missy R. and I were able to board before most of the passengers which was a good thing because I didn't remember the plane aisles being so narrow. If I were seated in any other row but the first one I don't think I could have made it down the aisle. My walker barely fit in the space between the seat and the aisle. God help me if I have to go the restroom on a plane. I think I'm going to have to consider either dehydration or a catheter before a trip. diapers. I read on one of my disabled traveling sites that many disabled use the diapers during airline travel because of the small restrooms. Ewwww, I can barely stand it when I have to sit in my own farts, I don't think sitting in my own stink would be acceptable. It's bringing me flashes of the nasty bedpan days!! I'll have to think about this because I'm planning to travel internationally and even I (self-proclaimed human camel) can't hold it that long.

While it's great being the first to board the plane, you are always the last to exit. I starting joining in with the attendants as they said, "Bye, thanks for flying with us." "Bye, have a great weekend!" "Bye, don't trip on your way out!" (that one was me after a guy tripped over the suitcase in front of him.)

The Phoenix airport is huge. HUGE, I tell you. Missy R. and I finally dragged me, our two suitcases and purses out the door to find a taxi. Instead, we found Thomas. Ahh, Thomas. Whattaguy. Taxi in the shape of a limo. Limo ride in the form of a lecture about conspiracy theories, how and when to buy a home, the terrible state our government is Alice in Wonderland's Mr. Toad's Wild Ride...

Had a great time that first day. My leg didn't do anything stupid (I know!!) and the pain was as it always is. My constant companion.


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